“Can’t Never Did Anything”

When I was a young boy I must have started out as someone trying to get out of doing chores and other things that needed to be done. I can still remember saying to my mom and grandma, I Can’t.

And, I still remember both of them telling me over and over

“Can’t Never Did Anything.”

Looking back, I believe my I Can’t attitude was a result of two weaknesses: a lack of self-confidence and a lack of a sense of responsibility.

I suspect my lack of confidence related to my family environment where my dad was a bad alcoholic (later I’m proud he became a strong, sober Christian) and my mom was often depressed (understandably) and so our family was dysfunctional. There was little parental guidance early on helping to instill self-confidence. Rather, there was a gloomy feeling of negativity and helplessness. I developed a victim attitude and responded to challenges with I Can’t.

Very much related was a lack of responsibility. Because I didn’t believe I had the ability to take care of things, I developed a view of just not being responsible. Don’t look at me/ look at someone else. Somebody else will take care of it and it’s not my responsibility anyway. Both of these traits, low self-confidence and irresponsibility are at the core of so many problems in our world today because:

“Can’t Never Did Anything”

Fortunately, as I grew older, my mom and dad helped me develop a more productive view of myself and the world. My mom was relentless in telling me can’t never did anything and with that push and some other learning opportunities I began to develop a “growth mindset” which is a belief that I Can. It’s a view of confidence in one’s ability to learn, grow and achieve. It’s why one of my favorite pictures is a mountain scene with only one person trying to climb the mountain with a slogan saying “If it is to be, it is up to me.”

And, my dad helped me learn to be more responsible as I helped him on construction projects by teaching me proactive and do what needed to be done rather than waiting to be told what to do. He said “you’ll never get anything done in life with your hands in your pocket.”

Our world today has enormous challenges and opportunities. But, unfortunately, too many people are acting like I did as a kid. Through a lack of self-confidence and irresponsibility, people are watching bad things happen all around them like they are watching a movie.

Too many today are consumed with anxiety, depression, and even thoughts of suicide because they lack a sense of purpose, hope and the ability to make it happen. They become the victim and blame others, often becoming harmfully angry and lashing out at others out of fear, insecurity and just plain unhappiness.

We see this today in global conflicts, political fighting, socioeconomic injustices and hatred in all it’s ugly forms.

But, it doesn’t have to be this way! What the world needs now is love, sweet love!

And, less I Can’t and more I Can, with God’s help